My top 8 recipes of 2010

My thoughts have not been on food lately but have been more about my kitchen and staying out of it. Since holiday break began, my thoughts have wandered towards more important things. Things like John Cusack.

Confession # 838: I spent my last LOL (Lady of Leisure) day doing a John Cusack movie marathon. There. I said it. The morning started with classics such as "Better Off Dead", "Say Anything" and "The Sure Thing". The afternoon featured "Grosse Pointe Blank" with "High Fidelity" as the finale.

Did I OD on JC? Impossible.

His last movie actually inspired me. High Fidelity is a story about a Rob (John Cusack) the music-addicted, obsessively list-making owner of a record store called Championship Vinyl. The breakup of Rob and his girlfriend sets him to recalling his previous relationships with women, specifically those on a list of his Top 5 Worst Breakups.

I decided to make a list of my own. So #5 on my Worst Breakup of all time list was...

Pork Tamales

 Another year is ending. This will mark my 5th year living in the Lone Star State. I had to get used to a few things when I moved to San Antonio from the midwest. These included things like:

1. The high percentage of left lane coasters in this town. Keep right and pass left. It really is that easy. Don't be a left lane camper!

2. The 10 month summer season.

3. "Go Spurs Go"

4. Being able to wear summery dresses and flip flops up to November (refer to #2).

5. Eating tamales during the Christmas holiday. I don't know if this is only a San Antonian tradition, but it's one I've thoroughly enjoyed while living here.

This was my first attempt at making tamales, but the tamale gods must have been smiling down on me because they turned out delicious!

A few things to know before we get started: making tamales is time consuming (plan on two days); I ended up with 104 tamales, so you may want to half the recipe. Luckily, I have a large extended family and I like to share :)

Mmmm...Tamales.

Cream Cheese Penguin Posse

  

 I giggled the entire time while making these. Is that weird? Look at them. Don't they make you chuckle? And that scarf! Come on! Precious right? That tilt of the head gives them a little sass I think.

These little guys never fail to evoke the "aaaawwww how cute!" or the "they're too cute to eat!" or the "I must take pictures!" at parties. They're gangsta. Seriously, they help you make friends. You will be popular. Don't say I didn't warn you ;)

 

Sweet Potato Bread

Spontaneous road trips have had me MIA from the kitchen lately. My oven is cold and lonely. I have 12 sweet potatoes I bought before said spontaneous road trip taunting me on the counter. You know what they're saying? They're saying, "That's what you get for taking advantage of the 8 cents per pound sweet potato sale." You end up with more sweet potatoes than you need. ::gasp:: Does this make me a sweet potato hoarder?! Don't answer that.

Let's get to baking shall we? I started with one of my favorite banana bread recipes and made a few minor changes to make this (can I do a little bragging for a second?) super awesome bread. It turned out delicious and I used up only 3 of my 12 precious sweet potatoes.

The Original Arthur Bryant's Barbecue KCMO

This is a picture of me waiting in line for some Arthur Bryant's barbecue in Kansas City Missouri. This photo tells you a few things: I am not in Texas in my kitchen baking. I am one of those crazies who will wait in line for over an hour for good food. I am significantly shorter than the general population.

What this photo doesn't tell you: The line curved all the way around the building. It was 42 degrees outside. The people seated inside were taunting us with their barbecue sauce covered smiles through the window. It was 12:02 PM.

Simple French Toast

Thick slices of country bread, soaked in whole milk, eggs, vanilla and sugar then pan fried in butter. 

This is what I'm asking you to put in your face today.

Your belly can thank me later. Your hips, butt and thighs can address formal complaints to my dog Yoshi. He's a good listener. Trust me, I know.

In my world, the perfect French toast has a golden brown exterior with crisp edges and a rich, custardy (is that a word?) center.
 
To achieve this French toast perfection you'll need good day old bread cut into one inch slices and you must pan fry in butter on a low-medium flame.  This will blow your mind!

Blueberry "Boy Bait" Cake

I'm going hunting...hunting for a man. This particular type I'm hunting for today is not as elusive as once suggested and are in fact abundant during September through January. I'm hunting for the Football Head.

The Football Heads of North America (Pigskinus Gigantopithecus) have flourished in man caves over major cities as well as the rural areas of America. They are often characterized as passionate creatures and are jovial when their team of choice is winning. They are, however, prone to fits of rage over a bad call and it is advisable that you avoid them when their team in on a losing streak. An angry football head is a dangerous one.

These bigfoot-like animals have the digestive systems of omnivores, but can adapt to a steady diet of beer, pizza and chicken wings, which make up the majority of their diets, during the 5 month football season. Seeing that they are deprived of freshly baked goods, my bait of choice is the Blueberry "boy bait" cake. With a tender, buttery crumb, this cake is 95% effective in catching the football head of your choice.

Shhhh...I see one now. This is Pigskinus Gigantopithecus in his natural environment. The man cave. 

Observe the man toys both set to football related activities; laptop set to his Fantasy Football Stats, flat screen TV set to ESPN hours before a game is scheduled to begin. Don't worry he can't hear me. A recent study has shown a new malady that affects all Football heads. The development of selective hearing. If needing to communicate effectively with this man beast, it should be done during a commercial break. Let's snag one of these suckers! Bring out the boy bait...

I got him! And a fine specimen at that :)